Thought for today:āRemember: when people tell you somethingās wrong or doesnāt work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.ā
ā Neil Gaiman
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Being assertive is not easy.
In fact, the word is sometimes used to describe aggressive behaviour.
Assertive means ābeing able to stand up for your own or other peopleās rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive or passively accepting āwrong'ā (source: skillsyouneed.com)
If something feels wrong, being able to say so, and say how you feel, is a positive step.
It starts to go wrong when we move from how we feel to what we think is the cause, the reason, or the behaviour. And then it goes further downhill hill when we fix āsomeone elseās problemā.
Yet being assertive takes courage, to overcome anxiety. Third-party observers say things like, āJust tell himā with little understanding of the fear of consequences.
Helping someone find their own voice, in their own way, is tremendously useful, but telling them what to do is not.
If you have had to overcome your anxiety to be assertive, youāll know exactly what Iām talking about.
